Humor: Why should I 'have a good one'?

People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.

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Steve Clifford • Feb 5, 2025

Feb 6, 2018

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           <p>People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.</p><p><b>Retail clerks, recovering accountants,</b> and others who hold me in low esteem have begun to wish me "a good one." They say, 'êHave a good one'ê instead of 'êHave a good day.'ê</p><p>Perhaps they ceased wishing me a 'êgood day'ê to avoid my devastating rejoinders:</p><!--kg-card-begin: html--><ul> <li>Great idea.  Why didn'êt I think of it first?</li> <li>I'êve already had mine this month.  </li> <li>Not today, but Friday might work.  </li> <li>Thanks, but I'êm married.  </li> <li>I have other plans.  </li> <p>   I am befuddled by 'êhave a good one.'ê  Exactly what are they suggesting:  A good day? A good quadruple bypass? A good soup and salad lunch? A good religious epiphany?  A good tea party?  A good bowel movement? A good Zen koan?  The possibilities are endless.  </p> <p>   I could reply politely with, 'êHave a good one yourself.'ê  But what if the recovering accountant meant, 'êHave a good attack of shingles?'ê I would not wish shingles on anyone other than a Yankee fan.  </p> <p>I am currently testing five responses to 'êhave a good one'ê:  </p> <ul> <li>The probing: 'êOne What?'ê  </li> <li>The confrontational:  'êAnd then what?'ê  </li> <li>The non-committal: 'êI will consider it.'ê  </li> <li>The avaricious: 'êWhat not a good two, or even a good eight?'ê  </li> <li>The retributive: 'êThe same to you if you'êre a Yankee fan.'ê  </li></ul> <p>   Thus far, the above rejoinders have elicited remarkably similar responses — 'êasshole,'ê 'êjerk,'ê and 'êI discern that you are not a native Seattleite.'ê  </p> <p>  Results of my research will be published in <i>Tenure: The Journal of Academic Academics.</i> </p>&nbsp;&nbsp;</ul><!--kg-card-end: html-->

Humor: Why should I 'have a good one'?

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By Steve Clifford