What the kids are saying

A guide to instant-messaging lingo.

CUL8ER See you later.          DYHAB Do you have a boyfriend?          YYSSW Yeah Yeah Sure Sure Whatever.          RUAARP Are you a member of AARP?          YK-Moo? Why is your kitchen full of cows?          L=O Life is like a wheel.          L=O? Why is life like a wheel?          L#O OK.  Have it your way. Life isn't like a wheel.          DWILMCSP Dude, where is last month's child support payment?          TUTAFSLPD T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts!" (You've got a face that would blow off manhole covers.)          :) Why are you smiling?  You have no nose.          IFYTS ... U If your truck sounds like your transmission is going out, your alternator may be the problem. Remove the drive belt them start it for a moment.  If the noise goes away replace alternator with high quality rebuilt unit.          AYQDHOIK Are you quoting David Hume or Immanuel Kant?          9 Parent watching.          8 Feds tapping wire.          99 Parent no longer watching.          88 Feds no longer tapping wire.          99â'ꄢª Parents singing Il core vi dono from Cosi Fan Tuti. Yuk!          88â'ꄢª Feds singing Quanto amore from L'elisir d'amore. Awesome!          MUBHITDRWAP My uncle believes he is the deceased Russian writer Alexander Pushkin.          RUHVD Are you a high value detainee?          +â'ꀚ¬-$ Trade deficit widening. Short the dollar and long the Euro!          TDRWAPTHIMU The deceased Russian writer Alexander Pushkin thinks he is my uncle.          GB43 Impulsively I invaded an Arab country and now I can't get out. Please advise.          8-/ Your nose is off center!          WWBD What would Britney do?          WWJDAB What would Jesus do about Britney?          {-----}? Have you gained weight?          P&P It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.          RU^// Are you up for sharing a shake with two straws at the soda shop?          RU^ In that case, are you up for a few lines of cocaine?          :-T If you turn you head sideways, you will note there is a large stalk of celery caught in your teeth.          ::::---->>@ Aliens with eight eyes are attacking the suburbs of Atlanta.          ???? Is it considered a hostage situation if someone with a split personality threatens to kill himself?          ZZZZZ I'm in. And I'm in to win. Today I am announcing that I will form an exploratory committee to run for president. And I want you to join me not just for the campaign but for a conversation about the future of our country – about the bold but practical changes we need to overcome six years of Bush administration failures. I am going to take this conversation directly to the people of America, and I'm starting by inviting all of you to join me in a series of Web chats over the next few days.